On occasion, when Paul and I are lying in bed we ask each other a question..."Is there anything I can be doing better as your husband/wife?" This questions allows us to voice our feelings about things or behaviors that might need changing in order to make the other happiest. And that is what I truly want, happiness for us both and especially Paul. While it's nice to voice my opinion about little changes here and there that Paul could make, I cringe waiting to hear what he thinks I've fallen short of as a wife. If I could be perfect I would, but lets be honest...no one is perfect, including Paul and I.
Last night, when we asked each other "the question" he reminded me that I've become kind of lazy. Now, he didn't say it quite like that since he is kind and careful with his words BUT in the end that is what he meant. :) And I agree. Recently, I've lost all motivation on my days off of work and often don't accomplish much of anything...including cleaning the house. Paul does a wonderful job and has picked up my slack without saying a word but he could no longer avoid talking about it once "the question" was asked. And I think that's why "the question" is important in our relationship because if he had never said anything, who knows how long it would have taken me to notice the extra responsibilities I has pushed off onto him.
Open communication is important to any relationship and you must humble yourself to hear others opinions of a situation, even if it hurts to hear. It's impossible to grow as a person if you think there is nothing you could improve about yourself. Our answers to "the question" are always based on loving, respectful and constructive criticism.
So today, I took Paul's advice and mustered up the motivation to clean the house, do laundry, make the bed, clean out the fridge, wash dishes, go to the grocery store and cook supper. Paul works so hard for us to live comfortably and to make me happy each and every day. I want him to feel loved and respected when he walks in the door because he deserves it. And surprisingly enough, doing these tasks that aren't especially fun became enjoyable when I remembered why I was doing it in the first place. Marriage involves teamwork and I need to remember to be a team player. And if you truly love someone, you won't mind making some simple changes to make them smile.
Love and Happiness,